Healing, Growth, & Renewal Over Time
We are now entering the summer months. Summer brings a different pace, an opportunity to slow down and catch our breath after a busy end of the school year. Over the years, I have learned to embrace the rhythms of the different seasons. I also find myself reminding people that church keeps gathering during the summer. In ministry, I see a lot of people who are hurting and who need to heal for a variety of reasons. I am thankful that Woodmont is a church that is very intentional about offering healing ministries – pastoral care, Center for Hope and Healing, Stephen Ministry, AA, Alanon, Grief Care, spiritual direction, and so much more. All of these ministries are making a difference in the lives of so many.
Healing in life is an ongoing process, a journey that really never stops. Life brings change, change brings loss, and loss brings pain and grief. A few fundamental truths need to be acknowledged.
First, an undeniable reality of the human condition is that pain and suffering are inevitable. We all hurt. We all suffer. We all experience grief and deep sadness. This cannot be avoided.
Second, not everybody suffers the same. Some hurt more than others but nobody can avoid it. The most difficult part of a pastor’s job is helping people work through their pain. Divorce, addiction, depression, loneliness, infidelity, financial hardship, fear, worry, and relentless anxiety are all real problems in our complicated world.
Third, Christians are called to help. Thich Nhat Hanh once said, “Many of us want to do something to help the world suffer less. We see so much violence, poverty, and environmental destruction all around us. But if we are not peaceful, if we don’t have enough compassion, then we can’t do much to help. We ourselves are the center. We have to make peace and reduce the suffering in ourselves first, because we represent the world. Peace, compassion, and well-being begin with ourselves.” This is a truth that many overlook.
Fourth, healing was always a priority for Jesus. He commands us to “love others as we love ourselves,” and I think many people are doing exactly that. They are hurting others because they are hurting inside themselves. It is a vicious and dangerous cycle. It’s only when we first tend to our own soul and healing that we can then tend to others. Most of the time when people lash out in anger, there is something going on inside. It is a direct reflection of something they are dealing with or going through.
The important question remains: how do we grow through our pain? How does it change us? How does it make us stronger? Paul writes to the Romans about the power of hope: “Suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint.” He writes to the Corinthians: “We are afflicted in every way but not crushed; perplexed but not driven to despair; persecuted but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed.” There is great truth in both of these verses but many who are hurting have a hard time seeing it. Sometimes the pain is so great that we can lose our perspective, lose our hope.
Jerry Sittser is a professor at Whitworth University. Many years ago, he lost his wife, daughter, and mother in a car accident that he and his other children survived. He wrote an incredible book after that experience titled A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss and I have given it to many people over the years. Sittser says, “The soul is elastic, like a balloon. It can grow larger through suffering. Loss can enlarge its capacity for anger, depression, despair, and anguish – all natural and legitimate emotions whenever we experience loss. But once enlarged, the soul is also capable of experiencing greater joy, strength, peace, and love.” He says, “Those who suffer loss live suspended between a past for which they long and a future for which they hope. Catastrophic loss by definition precludes recovery. It will transform us or destroy us, but it will never leave us the same. There is no going back to the past which is gone forever, only going ahead to the future which is yet to be discovered.” Life is certainly full of hurts and pains but all of us need to make the decision, whenever possible, to grow through it. Nobody said the process is simple or easy, but at least we get to do it together.
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