Balancing Ego, Ambition, & Soul Care

Balancing Ego, Ambition, & Soul Care
by
January 23, 2026

Spending time around different types of people will only confirm that we are all looking for similar things in life. We want to be respected and appreciated. We want to be loved. We want to be seen, heard, and validated. We want to feel like our lives matter and that we have a purpose. We want to feel like we are making a real difference in the world and are appreciated by others. We also long for safety and security. These truths seem to be universal.

We live in a materialistic world that can feel increasingly superficial and shallow. It’s been said before that “we buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t really care about.” Growing secularization has only enhanced our obsession with money, status, and toys. Even honestly pursuing the American Dream (however we define that) throws us into an endless cycle of competition, consumption, comparison, and stress. Social media, despite its benefits, drives social comparison and keeps us always aware of what others have that we don’t. Stanley Hauerwas and Will Willimon say, “Desire is both contagious and imitative. I want this or that because someone else wants this or that. That we learn desire from one another means that we desperately desire one another’s approval, even though our desires put us in envious conflict with one another. We think of life as a zero-sum game. Accordingly, we want what our neighbor has, and we are led to an endless cycle of acquisition that never satisfies.” This is a restless culture with growing levels of discontentment.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with working hard, achieving success, being compensated fairly, providing for your family, and building a better life. But remember, it’s the same desire to accomplish and achieve that keeps us restless and unsatisfied in our spiritual lives. We tend to neglect the needs of the soul. In his book Everything Belongs, Richard Rohr talks about the ongoing struggle between the ego and the soul. He says “The primary philosophical and spiritual problem in the West is the lie of individualism. Individualism makes church almost impossible. It makes community almost impossible. It makes compassion almost impossible. Life is not about me; it is about God, and God is about love. When we don’t know love, when we don’t experience love, when we experience only the insecurity and fragility of the small self, we become restless.” Restlessness is an ongoing spiritual problem for many today. People are restless with themselves. They are restless in their marriages. They are restless in their jobs. We address that restlessness in a variety of ways – excessive eating, drinking, medicating, shopping, smoking, working, politicking, and worrying. These are symptoms of a much deeper problem that lies within.

Jesus teaches us in the Sermon on the Mount that it’s our inner attitudes and intentions that matter, what’s going on in the head and heart. MLK famously said that people should be judged by “the content of their character.” When we neglect the soul, problems abound. Rohr says that many people today “live in a disenchanted universe without meaning, purpose, or direction.” That is sad but true for many. How can that be changed? Perhaps it starts with understanding that what satisfies the ego does not satisfy the soul. What keeps us relevant in the marketplace is not really what gives us deeper meaning. Life must be about more than work. Life must be more than success. Life must be more than getting rich. Life must be more than climbing the social ladder. Life must be more than always being right. Maybe the one who dies with the most toys actually loses, especially if he is enjoying them alone? Human beings have done one heck of a job coming up with things to keep us busy, distracted, and feeling important, and perhaps that’s the problem. In our relentless attempt to feed the ego and achieve, the soul is neglected and not nurtured.

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