Emotionally Intelligent Christianity

In our spiritual leadership class on Wednesday nights, we are spending some time focusing on the concept of “Emotional Intelligence” or EQ. I have always believed that emotional intelligence and spiritual maturity go hand in hand. It is very hard to have one without the other. So many of Jesus’ teachings and questions are directly tied to “emotional intelligence,” which has five core components: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. As we grow spiritually and deepen our faith, each of these areas matter. A big part of leadership is knowing and managing self. In what ways does Jesus address each of these areas?
• Self-awareness – Jesus asks, “Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye but fail to recognize the log in your own eye? First, take the log out of your own eye and then you can see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor’s eye.” In our culture, everybody seems to point out what’s wrong with everybody else rather than doing self-improvement. Every time we point one finger at another person, we have three fingers pointing back to the primary source of most of our problems.
• Self-regulation – Jesus asks, “Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?” Worry is essentially useless but we worry all the time about many things that may or may not ever happen. Worrying about the future is a sure way to ruin the present moment.
• Motivation – Jesus says, “You are the salt of the earth. You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hidden.” People of faith are called to shine light in the darkness and provide healing for the broken-hearted. Many still live from day to day without motivation or a purpose.
• Empathy – Jesus says, “Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.” He also says, “I was hungry and you gave me food; I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me; I was naked and you gave me clothing; I was sick and you took care of me; I was in prison and you visited me.” Empathy always involves showing compassion for those who are hurting and suffering, which includes providing the basic necessities of life.
• Social Skills – The first thing Jesus did when he started his ministry was to pick twelve people to be his inner circle, known as disciples. His first miracle in John’s gospel was turning water into wine late into a wedding celebration. Jesus knew the importance of relationship, community, and social gatherings. The Christian life always takes place in the context of community. Relationship building will always be important.
Each aspect of emotional intelligence is present in the gospels. What is remarkable about discipleship, spiritual formation, and emotional intelligence is that they can all be developed and enhanced over time. Faith and the spiritual life is an ongoing process that we never master. I tell my Vanderbilt students, whether you are a Christian or not, you can always learn from the teachings and questions that Jesus raises because they are profound. People of all faiths would do well to live the Golden Rule and practice forgiveness on a regular basis. Jesus is primarily concerned with matters of the heart and motive. Why do we do the things that we do? What is our intention? What is our level of self-awareness? These are the questions that really matter.
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